Flaring. I pushed too hard and now I'm paying for it.
This week started out great. I went to my check up at the Rheumatologist and she said I was doing good. She said if we were interested in more children we should do it soon while I'm doing well. They took blood to check my numbers which seemed pretty high. Out of the 7 tests she ran last time I was high in 6 to include kidney, heart, and lung function. So she referred me to get my heart and lungs checked out. The doctor said I can take any OTC drugs needed for pain and I could consume alcohol in moderation. The day after this good appointment the nurse called and said my liver was extremely inflamed and I need to go to a GI specialist. And I was told no more pain meds or alcohol!
So I here I sit on my weekend and my joints are all inflamed and I think I'm getting an ulcer in my mouth. My fingers, knuckles, wrists, elbows, knees and feet are all swollen and sore. My lympth nodes are swollen on my right side. Its incredibly frustrating getting sick when I don't know what I am doing to cause these flares. The Rheumatologist gave me a prescription for anti anxiety. I have had great sleep all week because the meds help me not stress for hours while laying in bed. I guess I pushed too hard at work. I guess I can not work extra hours to make up for the lack of leave I have. I guess I shouldn't care if my house is a mess and laundry hasn't been done in over a week. Glad I thought enough a head to take off my wedding bands since they would definitely have cut off the feeling to my fingers.
So unlike the rest of the young mom's out there who get to play and cuddle with their babies, I get to rest. They get to feed their babies without being in pain from tilting the bottle. They can give fun baths because kneeling next to the tub doesn't hurt them.
I guess the Christmas wrapping will get done later along with everything else.
TODAY'S BLESSING: This is hard today. I am blessed to know when I have had enough. And blessed with a caring husband who reminds me it's going to be okay.
This post made me want to cry, Steph. I know you're feeling sad, and frustrated and I'm sorry. I truly wish this wasn't happening to you. I know that you and I are a lot alike in that we don't like things to be out of our control, and we don't like to do things on other people's time. I can't even imagine what it is like for you to be fighting your own body and the limitations it has imposed on you. So. Take a deep breath. Grab a good book. Think of everything that is going well for you- even if that list seems short and thin today- and try to get through today. The laundry and Xmas wrapping will always be there. AND, when we have our twin mansions in Piney Orchard, I'll let you borrow my maid. <3
ReplyDeleteI love you, you're One Groovy Coconut.
-Jamie
Sorry you are having a tough time. Forget about work, housework and laundry. You can still snuggle up in bed with Jackson while he plays. You didn't do anything to cause this flare, it just happens. We can always come over and help with the house and laundry. Just say the word. :)
ReplyDeleteAll you think you need to do will still be there waiting for you! Be smarter than your mom was...I felt I always had to do, do, do and then you all grew up and I miss those days of long ago. Enjoy what you have; a devoted husband and a wonderful, beautiful baby! The rest...just stuff. I can be there if you need me; but you already know that! Thinking of you today as the Ravens play at home against the Steelers! Relax and watch the win!!!
ReplyDeleteThat feeling is so deceiving. Our bodies feel great so we take advantage, and then suffer. We marvel at our bodies and think,"What's this? I can lift things without pain... not feel as tired... be active in general and not die?" So we do everything we possibly can because "we don't know how long the good will last." A few days later, your body feels like it is falling apart.
ReplyDeleteYou may not be able to follow Jackson around the house but cuddles are better. I'm 23 and sometimes when I'm back at my parents' house I'll scoot next to her.
Here are some things you can do with your little guy from your bed*: read, busy boards, stackable toys (like the multicolored set of rings), or you can hide toys under the covers to help him better develop object permanence.
Just be mindful of him being sleepy in your bed. If sleeping in your bed becomes a habit, it's hard to break and he'll forget how to self sooth.
I hope tomorrow is a healthier day.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Its always nice to be reminded I am not the only one going through this. I took your advice and played with Jackson as best I could. This weekend is much better.
Delete:) That's wonderful.
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