This weekend has been tough. Starting Friday, my chest has been tight. I thought Friday I might be getting a cold since I had a little cough and phlegmy-feeling my my chest. After one dose of Dayquil and some Robitussin now I am not sure. The cough has pretty much gone away. However, my chest still feels tight. Is it my lungs or my heart? I have an appointment with the cardiologist tomorrow afternoon. I will probably have to call my doctor in the morning since this doesn't seem to be going away. I wish my pulmonary appointment was earlier but it is scheduled for late January. I might have to try to call a different one to see if I can get in this week or next week...going to be hard with the holidays.
Tuesday is the liver biopsy. That's scary. I know they will give me meds to lessen the pain and the procedure only lasts about 20 minutes but it is still scary. I am also scared about what they will find. Why can't my battle with lupus involve just one problem or two or three? I mean seriously? I can deal with a lot but this is too much. I am tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of being scared.
This is not intended to be a pity party for me.
Today's Blessing: Christmas cookies. Yummy.
Being scared is the vessel that allows us to live. Living allows our heart to beat. Our beating heart assures us of many uncertainties. But one certainty that cannot betaken for granted is the ability to want to live. Stephanie it is okay to be scared.
ReplyDelete