26 Weeks and Counting

Time is flying by and before I know it, summer will be over and I will be anxiously awaiting our newest addition.

Our gender reveal picture,,,the balloon popped almost immediately so glad I was able to capture this moment!

What has it been like to be pregnant with baby #2 and having lupus?  TIRED but I do not think this is a unique feature of having lupus.  I attribute it to having a toddler and a full time job.  So far I can't complain about much other than being tired and still not being able to sleep.  Typical pregnancy problems such as peeing every hour is annoying and probably the culprit of the lack of sleep.  During my first pregnancy, at 26 weeks you barely could tell I was pregnant.  Now, you can tell and so can I! My walk is slower and my bending is not as graceful. Again, not unexpected and not related to Lupus.

Two trips to the ice cream shop in one day at the beach!  Little sprout is really making out on these pregnancy whims.

This summer we have made it to the beach twice so far.  Staying out of the sun and slathered in sunblock helped keep any flare activity at bay.  I am grateful to be able to enjoy the beach while staying safe and healthy thanks to my wonderful family.  I can say walking across the hot sinking sand is not fun, especially when you weigh like 20lbs more than your used to weighing.

Trying not to buy too much but I could not resist this baby jogger city mini double when I found it used!

So far I have bought three outfits for baby.  I am really trying not to get sucked into buying tons of clothes knowing she will out grow things so fast.  I went through Sprout's old clothes and was able to reuse a bunch of newborn and infant items which is awesome and puts off the bittersweet idea of donating his little outfits.  Considering this is our last baby (fingers crossed) and this one is a girl, my husband and I decided to throw a party!  We are hosting a sprinkle for baby girl so our closest friends and family can celebrate and share in our excitement.  I have heard lots of feedback regarding this sprinkle, and I never thought it would be so controversial, but apparently people do not like the idea of a celebrating a second baby.  I don't see why we shouldn't have a party to celebrate the new addition. All parents are excited for their new babies and should be able to celebrate it anyway they choose.  Haters not welcome! I will update with our co-ed sprinkle details once the date gets closer

.

26 weeks and healthy!

So, so far so good.  Monthly OB and high risk appointments continue.  Lupus check ups at Johns Hopkins every 6 weeks continue to return positive testing and show no signs of lupus activity. Thanks to lupus, I did have to see a pediatric cardiologist to make sure baby girl's heart is not affected by my disease, which it's not.  We took our hospital tour and we are super happy with the hospital, staff and accommodations.  Let the final trimester countdown begin!

The Longest Week

One week from today we have our anatomy scan for baby #2.  I do not remember the anticipation being this bad with my son. This pregnancy feels very similar to my last one or better. The second trimester is wonderful since, for the most part, the morning sickness has passed and my appetite is back to normal.  I have gained 1 pound so far and I am at 19 weeks.  I have had dreams about having a second boy but they could just be my brain remembering the last pregnancy and since having a boy is all I know.  My son refers to the baby as his little brother.  So the wait continues.  Next week I get to fill this box with pink or blue balloons for my son to open.  Either way, we are excited to see our little one and hope they are growing big and strong.

Sister or Brother? Time will tell...

I realized that since I had to keep this pregnancy a secret for so long I was in some kind of denial or non-acceptance.  Part of that meant not taking any pictures of my bump.  With my first son, I kept a pregnancy journal documenting each week and all the changes.  This time I have done nothing. Is this normal? Is this what its like to be the second child?  From here on out, I promise to embrace this experience as I did before.  To take pictures, eat better (or try), sing and dance and smile!

19 weeks

Lupus and Sprout Times Two

Today I am about 17 weeks 5 days pregnant with baby #2.  About 10 weeks ago I got sick, very sick.  It was the kind of sick I haven't talked about or experienced in about two years.  I was exhausted and stayed in bed for days.  I was so sick I could not eat or drink.  The headaches were out of control.  I made two trips to my primary care practitioner who told me it was most likely allergies.  After the second time of being told to continue taking my allergy medicine I decided to reach out to my Lupus doctor.  I knew something was not right but I didn't know what.

The following day at work, I ate my normal oatmeal for breakfast and promptly ran to the bathroom and threw it up.  A first for me.  That is when it started to click. On the way home I stopped by the local grocery store and bought a pregnancy test.  I was less than surprised when it came back positive.  My husband was in disbelief.

After I had my son and was diagnosed with Lupus, I was told the only birth control I could be prescribed was the Mirena IUD due to the hormones used.  Today I still have that Mirena IUD.  Epic Fail.  What are the odds that someone with a IUD and Lupus gets pregnant?  About .02%.  My Lupus doctor told us she has never had this happen in her 32 years of practicing medicine.  My OB told me my case was so rare she would be discussing with the other doctors in her practice and I was promptly set up with a high risk specialist.

What is the hardest secret you have had to keep? Not discussing this with my friends/family was very difficult however the odds of a miscarriage for pregnancy with Lupus is high and that is even more elevated when you throw in a faulty IUD which cannot be removed or you would abort your fetus.

The decision to have a second child was taken away for my husband and myself and this was forced upon us.  We are so grateful.  This was a decision we could not agree on or decide what to do.  The complications were scary and the risks didn't always seem worth it.  Now that we do not have a choice (and I know that some people think we still had a choice to make but in our eyes we did not.  Not going through with this pregnancy was not an option) its been a relief.  The hard part was decided for us by a greater power.  Now we just have to roll with the punches.

Those punches include routine doctor visits with 3 doctors every 4 weeks until they increase to once a week.  The good thing being I get lots of special attention and lots of testing and sonograms.  So far so good.  No signs of that pesky Lupus.  Now that I am out of my first trimester, I am feeling great.  Less tired, only 1 lbs of weight gain and no more vomiting.

And so my journey with Lupus and Sprout(s) continues.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Happy Healthy New Year

2014 was a great year for us. Everyone was healthy for the most part. We enjoyed spending time with our families. We were lucky enough to make a few trips to the beach. Taking a two year old to the beach is much more fun than the year before. It was awesome to watch him get braver each day. We were able to make some home repairs including new windows, which I am extremely grateful for as I sit in the living room typing this in capris without any draft and I believe its about 30 degrees outside. We were lucky enough to take Jackson to Disney for the first time! He enjoyed it much more than expected. Watching him meet Mickey for the first time brought tears to my eyes. Jackson transitioned to a new school and I can say it was a great choice for us. He has adapted well and made new friends...although he still occasionally asks about AJ (friend from baby school).  This fall we bagged about 50 bags of leaves and I'm sorry to say we gave up. We will hit the rest this spring. The holidays were very special in our house this year as we had our Elf, Lollipop,  come to stay with us. We completed any arts and crafts, Jackson' s favorite.  We are thankful for all our family and friends and the life we are blessed to have. 

In 2015, we pray for continued health. We look forward to the good times we are going to share with the ones we love. We are excited to make more updates and personalizations to our home. I can't wait to continue to watch Jackson grow and learn. My personal goals for 2015 include the typical things like good health and weight loss! But to be more specific, I am going to try to be happy everyday.  I will try to see silver linings, not stress over things, and not take out my stresses on those close to me. Although weight loss would be nice, I will accept myself for what I am. I will continue my spin classes and yoga practice.  I will try to walk more and eat better. And when I fall off this wagon, I will realize I am human and I will start fresh the next day. 

Well that's the plan.  We will see how it all unfolds.  I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year.

Living with Lupus and a toddler

Boy its tough!  Recently we switched my 2 year old son into a toddler bed (actually his crib but with a safety rail on the front so he can come and go as he pleases).  It is the same bed but the new found freedom seems to be too tempting for the little guy.  Up and down, in and out, we play this game many times each night before he actually stays in bed.  Then in the middle of the night he is out of bed and sneaking into our room a few times and finally around  430 or 5am, he has decided he has had enough sleep and comes in to wake us up.  I am hoping this is another phase that will wear off shortly.  In fact, the last few nights has been pretty good with him going straight to sleep.  However, I have been woken in the middle of the night and then bright and early each morning.  Doesn't he know we should sleep in on the weekends!?  So, how does having Lupus make this any different?  I am sure it doesn't.  My husband seems equally if not more frustrated each night and in the mornings I am usually the first one out of bed with the kiddo.  So, does having Lupus change anything?  Yes it does.  It isn't about comparing my reaction to this lack of sleep to my husbands.  He always needed more sleep than I did anyway.  I think the true gage would be to compare myself to myself prior to Lupus (if I can remember that self).  I think personally this lack of sleep is affecting me more because of the Lupus.  I would like to imagine that without the Lupus I would happily (okay, maybe that's asking too much) walk him back into bed as many times as needed and I would never loose my cool.  I would jump out of bed each time he wakes in the middle of the night and sooth him without cursing the early hours.  And when he comes into the bedroom around 5am and my alarm is set to go off at 510am, I wouldn't get mad and it wouldn't disrupt my entire morning. No, without Lupus I would be a better, more caring, understanding mother.  Lupus has made sleep so much more valuable.  HOWEVER, I could be wrong (and I hope to God I am).  I don't remember being a mother without having Lupus so I hope others can let me know that this is just a parent thing/mother thing and not a Lupus thing.  Other parents are just as sick and tired of their toddlers nighttime games as I am.  And yet look at me.  As I type this he is napping because that's the only time I get to blog.  I should be napping...

Finding My Inner Yogi

During my last check up with Dr. Petri I was reminded I am currently about 15 lbs overweight.  I was reminded that being overweight adds to the strain on my heart and since I am already at high risk for heart disease thanks to my Lupus, I need to make some changes. That is easier said than done. I am envious of the people who have small children and find the time and motivation to get in an hour of exercise a day regularly.  I find that I get excited and keep up the healthy lifestyle for a few days or a week then I fall off the wagon.  Each time I fall off, it is harder to get back on.

So I joined a gym.  Prior to moving to Texas I was a regular at Gold's Gym for years.  I can't say it helped much because I feel like I worked out regularly and didn't see the results I wanted.  However, I had to give up my membership when I moved.  I was excited to find out a family member was canceling his membership and I could just take it over without any sign-up fees.  So now I am month-to-month at $19, which includes all classes.

Since I signed up about a month ago, I have been attending yoga. One week I attended 3 classes.  I find that it really helps with my pain.   I have had three different instructors and they are all so different.   Each class I learn new positions and test myself in new ways.  I never knew yoga could be so strenuous and rewarding. I have experienced less back pain (usually this lasts for the week after the class).  I have been focusing on my breathing.  It feels great to at least appear to be a regular who knows what she is doing.  I suck at balance. I cannot remember the names of many of the positions.  But I am trying.

I missed my yoga class this week which would have been tonight (it is my husband's birthday).  I am actually bummed about it.  That is a good thing.  I wish Gold's Gym had more yoga class offerings. 

What's next?  I am considering trying cycling.  I need to add something else into my schedule so I might start seeing some results.  I am fairly certain 10 minutes of corpse pose isn't helping me loose those 15 lbs.  I love yoga.  My lupus loves yoga. 

May is Lupus Awareness month

If you saw me today you would not know I have lupus. My hair is full, I have gained weight... a little too much if you ask my doctor,  I am strong,  awake, and happy. I suffer from lupus.  But it isnt bad today.  Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. I am blessed.   Knowledge truely is power...awareness changed my life.