Living with Lupus and a toddler

Boy its tough!  Recently we switched my 2 year old son into a toddler bed (actually his crib but with a safety rail on the front so he can come and go as he pleases).  It is the same bed but the new found freedom seems to be too tempting for the little guy.  Up and down, in and out, we play this game many times each night before he actually stays in bed.  Then in the middle of the night he is out of bed and sneaking into our room a few times and finally around  430 or 5am, he has decided he has had enough sleep and comes in to wake us up.  I am hoping this is another phase that will wear off shortly.  In fact, the last few nights has been pretty good with him going straight to sleep.  However, I have been woken in the middle of the night and then bright and early each morning.  Doesn't he know we should sleep in on the weekends!?  So, how does having Lupus make this any different?  I am sure it doesn't.  My husband seems equally if not more frustrated each night and in the mornings I am usually the first one out of bed with the kiddo.  So, does having Lupus change anything?  Yes it does.  It isn't about comparing my reaction to this lack of sleep to my husbands.  He always needed more sleep than I did anyway.  I think the true gage would be to compare myself to myself prior to Lupus (if I can remember that self).  I think personally this lack of sleep is affecting me more because of the Lupus.  I would like to imagine that without the Lupus I would happily (okay, maybe that's asking too much) walk him back into bed as many times as needed and I would never loose my cool.  I would jump out of bed each time he wakes in the middle of the night and sooth him without cursing the early hours.  And when he comes into the bedroom around 5am and my alarm is set to go off at 510am, I wouldn't get mad and it wouldn't disrupt my entire morning. No, without Lupus I would be a better, more caring, understanding mother.  Lupus has made sleep so much more valuable.  HOWEVER, I could be wrong (and I hope to God I am).  I don't remember being a mother without having Lupus so I hope others can let me know that this is just a parent thing/mother thing and not a Lupus thing.  Other parents are just as sick and tired of their toddlers nighttime games as I am.  And yet look at me.  As I type this he is napping because that's the only time I get to blog.  I should be napping...

Finding My Inner Yogi

During my last check up with Dr. Petri I was reminded I am currently about 15 lbs overweight.  I was reminded that being overweight adds to the strain on my heart and since I am already at high risk for heart disease thanks to my Lupus, I need to make some changes. That is easier said than done. I am envious of the people who have small children and find the time and motivation to get in an hour of exercise a day regularly.  I find that I get excited and keep up the healthy lifestyle for a few days or a week then I fall off the wagon.  Each time I fall off, it is harder to get back on.

So I joined a gym.  Prior to moving to Texas I was a regular at Gold's Gym for years.  I can't say it helped much because I feel like I worked out regularly and didn't see the results I wanted.  However, I had to give up my membership when I moved.  I was excited to find out a family member was canceling his membership and I could just take it over without any sign-up fees.  So now I am month-to-month at $19, which includes all classes.

Since I signed up about a month ago, I have been attending yoga. One week I attended 3 classes.  I find that it really helps with my pain.   I have had three different instructors and they are all so different.   Each class I learn new positions and test myself in new ways.  I never knew yoga could be so strenuous and rewarding. I have experienced less back pain (usually this lasts for the week after the class).  I have been focusing on my breathing.  It feels great to at least appear to be a regular who knows what she is doing.  I suck at balance. I cannot remember the names of many of the positions.  But I am trying.

I missed my yoga class this week which would have been tonight (it is my husband's birthday).  I am actually bummed about it.  That is a good thing.  I wish Gold's Gym had more yoga class offerings. 

What's next?  I am considering trying cycling.  I need to add something else into my schedule so I might start seeing some results.  I am fairly certain 10 minutes of corpse pose isn't helping me loose those 15 lbs.  I love yoga.  My lupus loves yoga. 

May is Lupus Awareness month

If you saw me today you would not know I have lupus. My hair is full, I have gained weight... a little too much if you ask my doctor,  I am strong,  awake, and happy. I suffer from lupus.  But it isnt bad today.  Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. I am blessed.   Knowledge truely is power...awareness changed my life.

In my next thirty years

Today I turn the big 3-0. I am no longer a kid, a young adult.  I am just an adult. And I am okay with that. I have accomplished great things in my thirty years. I am proud of myself and at a very happy healthy place in my life.  So in my next thirty years I am going to love more. Love my husband more and remind him more often that he means the world to me. Without him I would have crumbled,  he is my rock. I am going to tell my son everyday how special he is and how much I love him. I am so blessed with these two boys. I am going to take care of me...mind body and soul.  I will say yes to things I want and need and no to things I don't. I will make an effort to eat better, sleep better and get more exercise.  I have to take care of my heart in every way imaginable.  My next thirty years are going to be the best years of my life.

St Pattys Day 2014

Code red.  8-10inches of snow.  I am so tired of snow! I want to wear shorts and flipflops.  I want to be outside.  But it sure is pretty.

Will Spring Ever Arrive?

I am so over winter.  I am over the cold.  I am ready for spring.  I wake up every morning in a house that is about 70 degrees in my summer pajamas (yes I wear them all year round) and think how great it is that it is FINALLY spring... but it isn't.  I have to dig through my draw for socks-where did all of mine go?  I can't wear my shorts and flip flops.  I have to wear the same old sweaters.  Lucky for me, I have had a rather quiet winter regarding my Lupus. I count my blessings and am a little fearful of the warm weather.  Last spring I had a nasty flare around my birthday at the end of March.  I hope this year my 30th birthday passes without any pain.  I hope I am able to celebrate with my loved ones and have a few days when I forget about Lupus.  I can't wait to open my windows and get some fresh air!  If I can't have snow, I don't want this cold.  Brrr....

Give me snow or give me sun!
 

What have you been up to?

It has been freezing here on the East Coast so we have had to find ways to keep busy.  Painting the kitchen, making placemats,  and rice crispy treats! Wondering how everyone else is enjoying your time indoors?

Brrr baby its cold outside

Yesterday was the coldest day in history for Maryland or at least the last 20 years. The pipes at work burst yesterday and today we went in there was no heat. So here I am at home getting paid and doing chores. What a way to start the new year. Almost all of the Christmas decorations are down. I need to get a new wreath for spring so I can take down my Christmas wreath. I love the cold but this is crazy...anyone else ready for spring?

Bring it on 2014

2013 in review was a great year. Started out a little bumpy but quickly corrected itself.  After saying goodbye to dear friends and starting to rebuild in a new house I can say all is good. This year my husband gave up his dream job to be more available and to spend more time with Jackson and me. My baby turned one !  He is so big and amazing.  We welcomed in a new family member in June. My brother is so happy and for that I am glad.  My baby brother is all grown up. I love seeing them so happy and healthy.  lt means the world to me to be close to my parents. I will be 30 in 2014 but I still need my Mom and Dad. This year Lupus gave me a break about half way through.  And for that I am thankful.  Going into 2014 we still have Some residual issues like the leaky roof / wet chimney and less than optimal A/ C but those things will work themselves out. This year I say goodbye to my 20's and I am ready. I want to give back.I want to spend every spare minute remembering the good times and dreaming of the better ones to come.  This year I am going to focus on the good.