Today I Resent My Lupus

I have been hurt, upset, even devastated by my Lupus but today I realized I have been having a growing resentment for the disease.  I do not resent it for taking away precious time with my infant or for making me so sick I could not move.  I resent my Lupus for being so unpredictable that I thought I couldn't step up for a more important job at work.  I was afraid to take on too much responsibility because I didn't want Lupus to get in the way of my success or hinder my performance.  Since it came on so strong and unexpectedly I figured I should move back to Maryland and take a low-stress, low-worry assignment, which my employer was more than willing to accommodate.  I do not want to appear ungrateful because I am not.  I am very appreciative of all the effort and understanding that was shown to my family and myself.  HOWEVER, I hope that I did not make the wrong move by choosing an easy job.  I hope choosing to get healthy and be with my family didn't set my career back too much.  I know I am capable of more than what I am doing.

TODAY'S BLESSING:  Learning new things and not being furloughed (yet, and honestly, if I had been furloughed, it would be my blessing for the day too... I want the money but I would LOVE a few days off)

Steph's Support Squad - Here is a link to the Walk to End Lupus Now Baltimore 2013 team page.  If you are available on 28 Sept and in the Baltimore area  I would love to have you on my team!  If you cannot make the walk please consider donating to the cure!  Every dollar counts and helps!  Lupus does not have a cure yet but we will and you can help!  Thanks