Lupus and Sprout Times Two

Today I am about 17 weeks 5 days pregnant with baby #2.  About 10 weeks ago I got sick, very sick.  It was the kind of sick I haven't talked about or experienced in about two years.  I was exhausted and stayed in bed for days.  I was so sick I could not eat or drink.  The headaches were out of control.  I made two trips to my primary care practitioner who told me it was most likely allergies.  After the second time of being told to continue taking my allergy medicine I decided to reach out to my Lupus doctor.  I knew something was not right but I didn't know what.

The following day at work, I ate my normal oatmeal for breakfast and promptly ran to the bathroom and threw it up.  A first for me.  That is when it started to click. On the way home I stopped by the local grocery store and bought a pregnancy test.  I was less than surprised when it came back positive.  My husband was in disbelief.

After I had my son and was diagnosed with Lupus, I was told the only birth control I could be prescribed was the Mirena IUD due to the hormones used.  Today I still have that Mirena IUD.  Epic Fail.  What are the odds that someone with a IUD and Lupus gets pregnant?  About .02%.  My Lupus doctor told us she has never had this happen in her 32 years of practicing medicine.  My OB told me my case was so rare she would be discussing with the other doctors in her practice and I was promptly set up with a high risk specialist.

What is the hardest secret you have had to keep? Not discussing this with my friends/family was very difficult however the odds of a miscarriage for pregnancy with Lupus is high and that is even more elevated when you throw in a faulty IUD which cannot be removed or you would abort your fetus.

The decision to have a second child was taken away for my husband and myself and this was forced upon us.  We are so grateful.  This was a decision we could not agree on or decide what to do.  The complications were scary and the risks didn't always seem worth it.  Now that we do not have a choice (and I know that some people think we still had a choice to make but in our eyes we did not.  Not going through with this pregnancy was not an option) its been a relief.  The hard part was decided for us by a greater power.  Now we just have to roll with the punches.

Those punches include routine doctor visits with 3 doctors every 4 weeks until they increase to once a week.  The good thing being I get lots of special attention and lots of testing and sonograms.  So far so good.  No signs of that pesky Lupus.  Now that I am out of my first trimester, I am feeling great.  Less tired, only 1 lbs of weight gain and no more vomiting.

And so my journey with Lupus and Sprout(s) continues.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Happy Healthy New Year

2014 was a great year for us. Everyone was healthy for the most part. We enjoyed spending time with our families. We were lucky enough to make a few trips to the beach. Taking a two year old to the beach is much more fun than the year before. It was awesome to watch him get braver each day. We were able to make some home repairs including new windows, which I am extremely grateful for as I sit in the living room typing this in capris without any draft and I believe its about 30 degrees outside. We were lucky enough to take Jackson to Disney for the first time! He enjoyed it much more than expected. Watching him meet Mickey for the first time brought tears to my eyes. Jackson transitioned to a new school and I can say it was a great choice for us. He has adapted well and made new friends...although he still occasionally asks about AJ (friend from baby school).  This fall we bagged about 50 bags of leaves and I'm sorry to say we gave up. We will hit the rest this spring. The holidays were very special in our house this year as we had our Elf, Lollipop,  come to stay with us. We completed any arts and crafts, Jackson' s favorite.  We are thankful for all our family and friends and the life we are blessed to have. 

In 2015, we pray for continued health. We look forward to the good times we are going to share with the ones we love. We are excited to make more updates and personalizations to our home. I can't wait to continue to watch Jackson grow and learn. My personal goals for 2015 include the typical things like good health and weight loss! But to be more specific, I am going to try to be happy everyday.  I will try to see silver linings, not stress over things, and not take out my stresses on those close to me. Although weight loss would be nice, I will accept myself for what I am. I will continue my spin classes and yoga practice.  I will try to walk more and eat better. And when I fall off this wagon, I will realize I am human and I will start fresh the next day. 

Well that's the plan.  We will see how it all unfolds.  I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year.

Living with Lupus and a toddler

Boy its tough!  Recently we switched my 2 year old son into a toddler bed (actually his crib but with a safety rail on the front so he can come and go as he pleases).  It is the same bed but the new found freedom seems to be too tempting for the little guy.  Up and down, in and out, we play this game many times each night before he actually stays in bed.  Then in the middle of the night he is out of bed and sneaking into our room a few times and finally around  430 or 5am, he has decided he has had enough sleep and comes in to wake us up.  I am hoping this is another phase that will wear off shortly.  In fact, the last few nights has been pretty good with him going straight to sleep.  However, I have been woken in the middle of the night and then bright and early each morning.  Doesn't he know we should sleep in on the weekends!?  So, how does having Lupus make this any different?  I am sure it doesn't.  My husband seems equally if not more frustrated each night and in the mornings I am usually the first one out of bed with the kiddo.  So, does having Lupus change anything?  Yes it does.  It isn't about comparing my reaction to this lack of sleep to my husbands.  He always needed more sleep than I did anyway.  I think the true gage would be to compare myself to myself prior to Lupus (if I can remember that self).  I think personally this lack of sleep is affecting me more because of the Lupus.  I would like to imagine that without the Lupus I would happily (okay, maybe that's asking too much) walk him back into bed as many times as needed and I would never loose my cool.  I would jump out of bed each time he wakes in the middle of the night and sooth him without cursing the early hours.  And when he comes into the bedroom around 5am and my alarm is set to go off at 510am, I wouldn't get mad and it wouldn't disrupt my entire morning. No, without Lupus I would be a better, more caring, understanding mother.  Lupus has made sleep so much more valuable.  HOWEVER, I could be wrong (and I hope to God I am).  I don't remember being a mother without having Lupus so I hope others can let me know that this is just a parent thing/mother thing and not a Lupus thing.  Other parents are just as sick and tired of their toddlers nighttime games as I am.  And yet look at me.  As I type this he is napping because that's the only time I get to blog.  I should be napping...

Finding My Inner Yogi

During my last check up with Dr. Petri I was reminded I am currently about 15 lbs overweight.  I was reminded that being overweight adds to the strain on my heart and since I am already at high risk for heart disease thanks to my Lupus, I need to make some changes. That is easier said than done. I am envious of the people who have small children and find the time and motivation to get in an hour of exercise a day regularly.  I find that I get excited and keep up the healthy lifestyle for a few days or a week then I fall off the wagon.  Each time I fall off, it is harder to get back on.

So I joined a gym.  Prior to moving to Texas I was a regular at Gold's Gym for years.  I can't say it helped much because I feel like I worked out regularly and didn't see the results I wanted.  However, I had to give up my membership when I moved.  I was excited to find out a family member was canceling his membership and I could just take it over without any sign-up fees.  So now I am month-to-month at $19, which includes all classes.

Since I signed up about a month ago, I have been attending yoga. One week I attended 3 classes.  I find that it really helps with my pain.   I have had three different instructors and they are all so different.   Each class I learn new positions and test myself in new ways.  I never knew yoga could be so strenuous and rewarding. I have experienced less back pain (usually this lasts for the week after the class).  I have been focusing on my breathing.  It feels great to at least appear to be a regular who knows what she is doing.  I suck at balance. I cannot remember the names of many of the positions.  But I am trying.

I missed my yoga class this week which would have been tonight (it is my husband's birthday).  I am actually bummed about it.  That is a good thing.  I wish Gold's Gym had more yoga class offerings. 

What's next?  I am considering trying cycling.  I need to add something else into my schedule so I might start seeing some results.  I am fairly certain 10 minutes of corpse pose isn't helping me loose those 15 lbs.  I love yoga.  My lupus loves yoga. 

May is Lupus Awareness month

If you saw me today you would not know I have lupus. My hair is full, I have gained weight... a little too much if you ask my doctor,  I am strong,  awake, and happy. I suffer from lupus.  But it isnt bad today.  Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. I am blessed.   Knowledge truely is power...awareness changed my life.

In my next thirty years

Today I turn the big 3-0. I am no longer a kid, a young adult.  I am just an adult. And I am okay with that. I have accomplished great things in my thirty years. I am proud of myself and at a very happy healthy place in my life.  So in my next thirty years I am going to love more. Love my husband more and remind him more often that he means the world to me. Without him I would have crumbled,  he is my rock. I am going to tell my son everyday how special he is and how much I love him. I am so blessed with these two boys. I am going to take care of me...mind body and soul.  I will say yes to things I want and need and no to things I don't. I will make an effort to eat better, sleep better and get more exercise.  I have to take care of my heart in every way imaginable.  My next thirty years are going to be the best years of my life.

St Pattys Day 2014

Code red.  8-10inches of snow.  I am so tired of snow! I want to wear shorts and flipflops.  I want to be outside.  But it sure is pretty.